


Reverie

by txphoenix



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, I suck at tags, Jensen sings, Loss, Mention of Minor Character Death, One Shot, Single Jensen Ackles, death of a minor, it was just a quick idea, music inspires me, non smut, unimaginable pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 20:09:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txphoenix/pseuds/txphoenix
Summary: A day like any other until the past blows back into the present.





	Reverie

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! So, this may be triggering for some of you and I suck at tags so I apologize ahead of time if this causes you any problems. 
> 
> In my works, everything is an AU of sorts. Because to me an AU could be as simple as changing the age of a real person. 
> 
> Just like many others, this is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Jensen Ackles or the song that is written into the story. I do however "own" the story itself. 
> 
> Again, if this topic causes you any pain, I am truly sorry.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw her walk through the doors and into the brewery. She was beautiful. Her y/h/c was pulled back in a simple braid that hung loosely across her right shoulder. Her y/e/c damn near stopped me in my tracks but I had things around that I had to do and couldn’t be distracted. However I did take note of where she had been seated.

Music was billowing from the sound system, idle chit chat was being had around the tables that were scattered around the inside floor of the building, but one laugh broke through all of the excess noise and caught my attention while I was behind the bar. I snapped my head up to see where it was coming from and discovered that it was coming from her table. I had been so zoned in on watching her face light up as she laughed that I failed to immediately notice that there was now somebody else sitting at the table with her. A man. To say that my smile fell and that my hurt ached a little was an understatement. 

Of all days for me to be distracted, this was not the day. It was a Saturday afternoon and the musical reformer for the evening had cancelled last minute due to a family emergency. That meant one thing. I was going to have to get on stage and sing a little bit. I had no problem doing it, honestly it was second nature to me and it was something that I loved doing now and had gotten use to thanks to all the conventions that I had sang at. But this was slightly different and I knew that it would be as soon as I had seen her.

“Hey Boss, are you ready?” George asked me as he was getting the stage set up finalized for me.

“Yeah. Give me just a minute.” I replied as I signaled him for paper and a pen so I could jot down the songs that I wanted to do.  
After a few more minutes I was standing on the small stage with the microphone in hand and the light shining on me. 

“Hey y’all! It’s good to see so many people here on this beautiful Saturday. First I want to apologize but our musical act of the night couldn’t make it due to unforeseen circumstances.” I started. 

Everybody had their eyes on me and I could feel one set of eyes imparticular. She was boring a hole straight through me. Apparently she hadn’t seen me when she came in or any while she and her date were sitting there enjoying each other’s company, because her eyes had just about bugged out of her head when she heard my voice.  
I watched her relax back into conversation with her date while I spoke into the microphone again.

“But…” I said as I lifted a finger to the audience telling them to hold on a second. “I have something up my sleeve for y’all. Me. I am going to be the musical entertainment for the night. Just please, don’t throw any tomatoes at me.” I laughed as the music started. 

I breezed through a couple of songs with no problems but the song that I was going to end this set with would be different.  
When the first chord of the song played I hung my head because I knew just how hard this was going to be. Not just for me.   
I took the deepest breath possible before I started singing.

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely  
She wasn’t once upon a time  
She used to dance when the band played  
She used to be the trustin’ kind”

On instinct I scanned the room to see how people were reacting to the song that I had picked. Most people were just idly watching me with their generic wonder.   
But her table told a different story. Her eyes had me pinned against the wall, while her date was none the wiser to anything that was going on. 

“She’s no stranger to the leaving  
She’s heard all the best goodbyes  
Fallin’ has a different meaning  
To her you’re just another guy”

I had to keep pulling my eyes away from her while I was singing, and while her date was trying his best to get her attention centered back onto himself.

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely  
She don’t know another way  
To break free from what’s been broken  
Too many cowboys rode away  
So forgive her if she’s distant  
She can’t tell her heart to lie, no  
You’ll never been her one and only  
She don’t love you, she’s just lonely”

“You can hold her in the moonlight  
You can give her all the stars  
You can promise her forever  
But you’ll never have her heart”

“She don’t love you, she’s just lonely   
She don’t know another way  
To break free from what’s been broken  
Too many cowboys rode away  
So forgive her if she’s distant  
She can’t tell her heart to lie, no  
You’ll never be her one and only  
She don’t love you, she’s just lonely”

As embarrassing as it was, I was so into the song that I had to wipe a stray tear from my cheek. I felt this song way too much, that’s why I picked this song.

“She don’t love you  
She don’t love you, she’s just lonely  
She wasn’t once upon a time  
I remember her in sunlight  
I remember her when she was mine  
Mine.”

As the song ended I stood there briefly, with my head down, trying to catch my breath as the crowd showered me with their applause.  
“Thank y’all. Enjoy the rest of your evening.” I thanked everybody as I waved and walked off the stage.

After a few minutes I finally mad my way back behind the bar and poured myself a healthy 2 fingers of whiskey. My plan was to just hang out behind the bar and makes drinks whenever the staff needed them but that plan was quickly shot to shit.

I heard her bracelet hit the bar just before I heard her voice.

“Jensen?” I asked softly, almost timidly.

‘Well here goes nothing.’ I thought as I swallowed the whiskey down all at once.

“Y/N.” I muttered before I turned around to face her.

“What are you doing here Jensen?” I could hear the confusion laced in her voice.

“Well I do own this place.” I stated matter-of-factly, trying to remain composed. 

“I meant, I thought that you were still in Vancouver.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble darling but I still come home on weekends. This is home still.”

“I know. I just didn’t think that you would be here today. I…I shouldn’t have come.” Y/N said just before she turned away.

“No. Y/N…please. Stay for a minute.” I almost begged as I reached out and grabbed her hand before she could pull it off of the bar.

When Y/N turned around I could see the hurt in her eyes. I recognized it so quickly because it matched mine.

“Jen…I really shouldn’t have come, today of all days. I really didn’t think that you would be here. I figured that you would be in Vancouver filming or drowning in a bottle of whatever you could get your hands on.”

“Why are you here Y/N?” I asked softly, leaning onto the counter of the bar trying to close some of the distance that was between Y/N and I. Literally and metaphorically.

“Like I said, I didn’t think that you would be here today. I just needed to feel grounded. It’s been a year.” She explained, tears threatening to spill over her lower lashes.

“Yet you brought a date.” I could feel the disdain dripping from my voice.

“He has no idea what happened Jen. I’m just trying to move on.” 

I grabbed her hand again and made her follow me to my office before I blew up in front of dozens of people that didn’t need to know my business.

“Trying to move on?!?” I growled as I closed the door to my office and locked it, not wanting anybody to barge in.

“Jensen. My date is out there! I can’t leave him alone.” Y/N groaned.

“I don’t give a fuck about him! How dare you bring another man HERE…TODAY!” I choked out. I didn’t want to yell her Y/N but everything was bubbling up and threatening to jump out. 

“Jensen! I am just trying to finally move on.” Y/N spoke, tears pouring down her beautiful face now.

“Yeah. Now. The one thing that you couldn’t do with me…after everything.”

“I know. I’m sorry Jen. I tried. You tried. God, we tried so freaking hard! Don’t think I don’t know that. I NEVER asked for any of this shit to happen.”

“I know you didn’t.” I whispered as I pulled Y/N to me and wrapped her in a much needed hug. “Neither of us did.” 

“Why did it have to happen to us Jens?” she cried into my chest.

“I wish I could answer the Y/N. I really do. To be totally honest with you, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder the same thing.”

“I miss her so much.” Y/N looked into my eyes and I could see the devastation there, almost as fresh as the day our lives fell apart.

“I do too sweetheart.” I assured Y/N as I pulled her face back into my chest and stroked her hair soothingly. “I would do anything to have our baby girl Reverie back with us. But I guess things weren’t meant to be. Those 3 months with her were the best of my life. That night that I found her in her crib, I wish I could black it out of my memory on a daily basis. I wish I could bring her back and things could be the way that they were for us.” I spoke, tears steadily streaming down my face.

“I feel like my heart is being ripped out every time I wake up. I still have a picture of her up in my room at my apartment. I don’t think I will ever take it down.”

“I have her picture in my living room in Vancouver.” I tried smiling.

“I don’t remember if I ever apologized to you for pushing you away after Reverie died. It was so sudden and I didn’t know how to handle a loss of that magnitude. She was everything Jensen.” Y/N spoke as a sob wracked her body.

“Y/N losing a child, at any age, is something that a parent should never have to go through. Unfortunately for us, we were 2 unlucky souls that had to find a way to handle our 3 month old baby girl leaving us way too early. Sweetheart, there is no need to apologize for handling her death badly. Once you called off our engagement and kicked me out, I went back up to my place in Vancouver and got lost in my whiskey, beer, wine, anything that I could drink really. But I knew I couldn’t stay like that. Too many people depend on me. But most of all, I depend on myself and I had to grieve in a different way. I really can’t explain it Y/N, but I’m in a better place now. I’m not going to lie though, my heart fell out of my ass when I saw you walk in earlier. I wanted to run but I knew that I couldn’t.”

“You saw me walk in?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah. As soon as the doors opened I saw you. Then I saw your boyfriend sitting with you later on. I know that you are moving on and I’m happy for you but I know that you are lonely. You should know that if you ever want to talk about Reverie that you can call me. There is no reason that I shouldn’t have heard from you for the last 10 months. We needed each other and we weren’t there. There is no reason that we should be strangers Y/N. We were together for 3 years before you found out you were pregnant. We were going to get married. We shared our lives and had a beautiful daughter. You will always have a piece of me.” I said as I wiped the tears from my face.

“Boyfriend? Jensen, this is only mine and his second date. I have only known him about a month. He is sweet but he has no idea about anything. I don’t want to tell him just yet.”

“Well, I will let you get back to your date. Enjoy yourself Y/N and if you need anything just let me know. That goes for after you walk out of the brewery doors too.” I told her as I kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you Jensen. You will always have a piece of me too babe.” Y/N said as she reached up and kissed my cheek before she walked out of my office and back to her date.

I sat at my desk trying to catch my breath for a couple of minutes while mindlessly going over some paperwork that had been on my desk for a few days. That was until I heard my name.

“Jensen.” Somebody spoke through my closed door.

“It’s open.”

“My date left.” Y/N said with a crooked, lost looking smile.

“Oh really?” I smirked.

The End


End file.
